Heather Gold

Tummeling in 5 minutes – at #Gathering11 in Melbourne

My original How to Tummel Google talk, among other things, led David Hood to bring me to Australia where I spoke at this conference. Gathering 11 was a mix of personal growth, social media and thinking about the changing economy. Unfortunately it cuts off all the crowdwork I did at the beginning in which, I killed I tell you. I also implored the room with this nugget: “If someone can’t tell you you’re full of shit, it’s not a conversation” Politely deferring in public doesn’t not a conversation make.

I enjoyed teaching an UnPresenting workshop there and will be doing more in San Francisco soon after I speak at WordCamp SF. 8/15 is sold out to Automattic (makers of WordPress) but there are still slots available on 8/17 and early registration priced tix too!. Buy em now.

Keynoting Connect Up, UnPresenting and other Australia gigs

I’ve been getting a lot of calls lately that have led to lots of trips. The feeling of great things coming my way has been lovely. Ever since getting caught in the Icelandic volcano ended up with my driving across Eastern Europe with the leader of the Finnish opposition party playing Cold Play over and over, I’ve learned that anything can lead to anything.

A couple of months ago I played next the the Easter Bunny in the mall and Ani DiFranco at Get Lit Fest in Spokane. Then I headlined OUT/Loud at the University of Oregon.

You had to be there, in the room, to feel how the energy changed when Gold took over.

Her headlining performance, “I Look Like an Egg but I Identify as a Cookie,” engaged crowd members for more than an hour, shattering the traditional boundaries between performer and audience.

Oregon Register-Guard

Quickly after that came the first subvert show (f/k/a the Heather Gold Show) in Toronto and now I find myself in the most expensive hotel room I’ve ever been in in Melbourne Australia about to keynote ConnectingUp a conference for non-profits in the digital age.

Check my schedule for all the shows and gigs here in Australia in the next couple of weeks which include speaking at Google in Sydney at Gathering11 (a kind of mind meld for people looking to change the world) and I’ll be getting in some stand-up too. I’ve heard amazing things about comedy (and queer life) here in Melbourne and am really looking forward to hitting the clubs.

I’m also offering my UnPresenting workshop in Melbourne on 6/14. Limited tix are available here.

In the meantime, I’ve got that peculiarly western thing of loving the hell out of this plush hotel, but also hoping it was donated to the conference for non-profits.

If there are places you think I should see in Melbourne or Sydney or people to meet, let me know! I’d like to bring the Cookie show here for the Comedy Festivals and Mardi Gras.

Video: I confront my tech addiction [back in the Sidekick days]

Here’s a video from the old vlogging (video blogging) days in 2005 or so.

Even before the iPhone I knew that having some place to focus my attention was helpful and also completely unhelpful.

Today’s Resource: Young Frankenstein

I peed in a small container this morning…

I peed in a small container first thing this morning.

That’s what the woman from the electronic box company help line told me to do.

“The first urine of the morning is the most concentrated.”

Ordinarily these days I’d just pee on the stick directly and then put it into the electronic box that monitors my surge in LH or lutenizing hormone. But my trip to the west coast got extended last week and I started my cycle there. So until noon, the little box still thinks it’s yesterday when I wake up. Thus the pee saving.

It’s the latest of many self-conscious moves I’ve had to make in an effort to get pregnant. I’ve had to check in so much during this insemination process, I’m totally the Mayor of my uterus.

Because we have limited funds, time (I turned 42 on Wednesday) and only as much sperm as we can afford, we have to be precise. We need to make each month’s insemination as high yield an attempt as possible. If next week’s doesn’t work I’ll get maybe 4 more tries. I feel like Luke trying to hit the Life Star.

When the nurse practicioner told me today that she recommended more monitoring every month I had to fight back tears as I explained that we weren’t doing monthly sonograms or more testing because we couldn’t afford it. If I can get pregnant, we’ll need 5k just for the 2nd parent adoption in NY.

It’s running us $560 for a .5cc vial per month. But this is top shelf stuff. Identity release, Grey Goose sperm. Over 66 million per cc. Sperm is ubiquitous. Sperm that can get you pregnant that is from someone who can be known to your kids but not challenge your legal custody is not.

But maybe the pain of all these details are going to pale in comparision to the joy of parenting. Just like coming out in the abstract makes all the hardships crystal clear. But all of those laws and prejudices are simply dwarfed by real love and the truth of who you are.

So tomorrow morning, again, I will pee in a small container.

Maria Bamford: Greatest Living Comic Authority on Depression (Comedy DSM I ) Buy tix now for January 19th consult

Above: the greatest living comic authority on depression: Maria Bamford
BUY TIX

Who: host comedian Heather Gold (“Cookie”), guests Maria Bamford (Comedy Central’s Comedians of Comedy), SF favourite Will Franken (Good Luck With It), and Cynthia Levin (Comedy Central’s “Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn)

What: The Heather Gold Show@SFSketchfest: Comedians on Depression at SF Sketchfest

When: Monday January 19th, 2008.  8-9:30pm,  

Where: Eureka Theatre 215 Jackson St San Francisco CA 94111 and podcats online at heathergold.com/show

Tickets: $15. Way cheaper than therapy. Available at sfsketchfest.com or 866-468-3399

I’ve wanted to do this show since I looked in my wife’s psychology textbook under depression for information and it had a picture of Drew Carey and just said ‘Comedians are depressed.’ So now I’m consulting comedians. Only the best. These are the cream of the crop. It will be neurologically impossible to be depressed during this show. We may even cure a few therapists before the night is done. I hear they need help.

Who knows more about depression than comedians? Maria Bamford (Comedians of Comedy, Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, Variety’s Top Ten Comics), Will Franken (Good Luck With It, Best SF Comedian), Cynthia Levin (Comedy Central’s “Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn) and surprise therapy guests join comic and host Heather Gold and you. Is it possible to be a comic without first being depressed? Are there Americans who aren’t depressed? These and other fine answers await your participation at Comedians on Depression. Will not cause drowsiness, bloating or leakage. Cheaper than therapy.

New York, NY – 10/27/08

San Francisco , CA – 10/18/08

New York, NY – 10/08/08

Toronto , Ontario – 09/29/08