Entries tagged "geek"

The Heather Gold Show: Self-Made (video podcast)

Heather Gold Show Self-Made

Watch the show (5 Min)How does one become self-made? Guests: Caterina Fake, co-founder of Flickr, Dave Chappelle opener W. Kamau Bell and celebrated psychologist, activist and painter Dr Lillian Rubin (The Transcendent Child).

The Lost Camera Net Legend: Part 2

My friend Judith Zissman went on a family vacation. She lost her camera. She made a blog. And then really unexpected things began to happen, including: rude Canadians, polite Americans and angry bloggers.

My interview with RU Sirius is up

I just did an interview for the RU Sirius podcast. We talked geekery, dolls and, kink in the midwest. Oh how we laughed, we reminisced. We talked comedy too. Of course that means Sarah Silverman. Everyone always wants to talk to me about Sarah Silverman.

The boing boing effect: The Lost Camera Net Legend

My friend Judith Zissman went on a family vacation. She lost her camera. She made a blog. And then really unexpected things began to happen.

Who are the people on your Internet?

I confront my sidekick / tech addiction

business porn

In case you didn’t see the original Palm campaign, it featured a naked woman in this identical pose.
Only she was more flexible than this model, so you couldn’t see her face at all in the photo.

The whole thing started when I walked into the New Media Magazine’s offices and asked if we could find a hair, tubby guy who would do the same naked pose. One phone call later and the answer was, “no problem.”

I love San Francisco.

Advice for the New Guard in Silicon Valley

It was recently announced that Terry Semel, former co-chairman of Warner Bros. Will take over as chairman and CEO of Yahoo! This signifies a huge changing of the guard. It’s time for the Old Economy entertainment mogul menschen to take over from the young technophiles. Because, at the end of the day, as they like to say in Hollywood (and as they are learning in Silicon Valley), you need to show a profit.

Unless Terry plans to go digital all the way, and operate the company virtually from LA, he will have to adjust to his new surroundings in Santa Clara at a company which has become identified as the symbol of Internet culture. This means Terry will have to leave a land of pampering, pedicures and limo rides for Silicon Valley’s ethic of personal control and do-it-yourself.

Having made the transition myself. I thought I’d offer you some pointers Terry. It’ll save you some learning time. And as you’ll soon find out, the Valley loves nothing like the appearance of efficiency. Zay gezunt.

  • The deli situation is hopeless. You’ll have to fly it in from Canter’s or Nate ‘n Als.
  • Technology CEOs don’t respond well to fruit gift baskets. If you want to acknowledge them, just be sure to say hi the next time you’re shopping at Fry’s.
  • If the Valley were a sandwich, it’d be a ham and cheese with mayo on white. With the crusts cut off. And served on a TV tray.
  • A personal assistant fits in your pocket. It does not get your dry cleaning or latté.
  • Silicon is used for chips, not breasts.
  • There is nowhere to “be seen.”
  • “Doing lunch” means getting a tamale at the Chili’s in a strip mall on Corte Madera.
  • Formal in Silicon Valley means: get fully dressed, then remove one piece of fleece.
  • If you want your emotional outburst to be felt, have it translated into a 3-D pie graph.
  • The closest Valley people get to the movies, is playing with their laser pointers on the screen at the latest action flick.
  • Even the lightest delivery of “you son of a bitch” during negotiations, will not be interpreted as affectionate.
  • No one knows any Yiddish. Just acronyms.
  • Status gifts comes in the smallest, not the biggest, packages.
  • A “plug-in” isn’t another way to fight balding. It’s software.
  • In Hollywood, inaccessibility is part of the power game. Not only do Valley executives take their calls, they invest in very expensive services and technology to enable them to be reached anytime, anywhere.
  • Forget your gut instincts. Everyone here wants to know what you think.
  • In film production terms, it’s as if the grips ran the studios.
  • Unlike Hollywood, everyone in the Valley is still under the impression things are achieved through a meritocracy.
  • No unions. The employees work unlimited hours in exchange for speculative options.
  • For engineers: the better it looks, the worse it must be.
  • Forget the Oscars. Pride is having your expensive toy car win the Sandhill Soapbox Derby.
  • They buy retail here.
  • You will be expected to occasionally wear an embroidered denim shirt. And yes, you will have booth duty.
  • In the Valley, the people are genuine. It’s only the business models that are fake.

Stone-Keyed Sober

It seems inevitable now that the coke frenzy that was the Internet bubble would be followed by a sobriety that challenges even the toughest Minnesota recovery clinic for an atmosphere of enforced calm.

For years I felt like the only person in San Francisco who wasn’t in recovery. But now that life here has bottomed out, I can finally recognize my tech addiction for what it was.

Like many junkies, my use was invisible while I was in the middle of it. It was my job, after all, to be plugged in and networked one way or another at every waking hours. It’s not hard to be a junkie when you’re surrounded by pushers.

But once the press-release pelting stopped, and the visual landscape of San Francisco returned, I could see that there was more to life than tech. Billboards, coffee cups and painted taxi cabs no longer scream dot com reminders at me “work damn you, work” every time I leave my computer or a meeting.

While others are leaving town for their recovery and spiritual reflection, mine is occurring naturally.

First, I had a bad case of repetitive stress injury enforceably limit my computer time. Surely, I can’t be the only one whose bubble-bound binges pushed me away from the keyboard and back into the unmediated world of communication. This meant that I went cold turkey on instant messaging. No methadone.

Then the city began to empty out of people. First the carpetbaggers left– the hangers on who used to scam their fixes– then those who could no longer afford what it takes to stay connected. The mass of lay-offs have sent scads of people to third world nations and email after email bouncing back to me. Even if I wanted to use all the time, the numbers just aren’t there to connect with.

Once economic reality settled in, people started to forego their cell phones. Personally, I’m on a tightly controlled number of minutes each month. It’s made much easier by the fact that the general communication urgency has died down. It’s ok if people can’t get a hold of me right this minute.

Even if there wasn’t this newfound patience, I could always tell people: “Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you, but my quadrant was hit by a rolling blackout.” The power shortage and surge in prices have made us all see how expensive info-works are.

Now with the price at the pump promising to reach $3.00 a gallon this summer, I’m walking the streets of San Francisco again. Why deal with automotive technology when you just face parking problems wherever you go? I’m actually hanging out with people, face to face, as it were. And we’re not interrupting conversation with phone calls and Palm Pilot exchanges.

No acronyms. No Blackberry paging. Just pure unmediated contact.

So it’s not as if you have to go away to rehab. San Francisco has been turned, overnight, into a city of sobriety. The temptations are gone. The advertising is gone. The magazines that write about it are folding. The dealers are gone. The old buddies you used to share information with and plug in have skipped town.

I’m pretty much clean now. But the old habits die hard. Even when I’m writing a column with old-fashioned paper and pen, I pause every so often to save.

Ah well, one day at a time.

Roast the Net @ SXSW

In the midst of dot com insanity, I decided it was time to take a shot at the goose that laid the golden eggs. By the time we got to the 2001 Roast, the Internet bubble had just burst and the event turned out to be a perfectly timed wake.

Here’s what Salon had to say about it.

Roast the Net: 2001 @ The Ritz Theatre with SXSW

  • Miss the IPOs?
  • Lawsuits got you down?
  • Weary of grim tales of dot-com downturn?
  • Enjoy the bull humour market
  • Options for everyone!

The Whole Damn Thing (1hr 52min)

  1. Heather Gold……..Patrick Naughton (2.1MB, 12:19)
  2. Lance Arthur (with a special appearance by the pets.com mascot) …………. (3.5MB, 20:13)
  3. Liz Belile Net Work is like Sex Work (2.7MB, 15:36)
  4. Thomas Scoville .Pink Slips and Ham (3.1MB, 18:23) (transcript)
  5. Justin Hall ……………………. (4.7MB, 27:14)
  6. True Stories of Dot Com madness…assorted members of the crowd, including the pig head winner—centralbooking’s Kevin Smokler…………………… (3.2MB, 18:29)

Roast the Net: 2000

Along with Her Domain and SXSW Interactive, subvert.com presented

The First Internet Industry Roast

Listen to:

Roast permformers

  1. Heather Gold ………….Intro/rock star CEO/start-up dysfunction
  2. special guest Adam Powell ……………………unWired
  3. HG ………………….. romance in Silicon Valley/eating our words
  4. Paulina Borsook …………living just enough for the city
  5. HG ……………………………chachka economy/butter.com
  6. HG + Elizabeth Belile ……..Poem for a World Wide Whatever
  7. Betty Ray ………………………………………..lizard brain
  8. Thomas Scoville …………………………..howl.com
  9. Justin Hall ………………business opportunities I missed

Many thanks to the wonderful Roaster:

  • Lance Arthur publishes at glassdog and the Fray. He is the David Rakoff of the Net. Except funnier and braver. Read him.
  • Liz Belile bodyofwords.com poet fantastique, author of Polishing the Bayonet, the spoken word CD “Your Only Other Option is Surgery” and creator of Gynomite: named Houston’s Best Reading Series.
  • Paulina Borsook is the author of “Cyberselfish/A critical romp through the terribly libertarian culture of high-tech.” As she said in her official bio for “The Best of Suck” years ago, she is basically a very nice girl who doesn’t understand why everyone gets so upset with what she writes.
  • Heather Gold is a cross-platform writer/performer.
  • Justin Hall, featured subject of the film Home Page, and so much more than can be described in one line.
  • Adam Powell runs a little company called Angry Coffee.
  • Betty Ray is the mayor of fuckertown.com
  • Thomas Scoville (silicon follies, salon) reformed hacker, novelist, cyber-critic, and e-commerce conscientious objector. His favorite peripheral is his cat. For the Roast, Thomas wrote and performed, with beret, Howl.com


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